Well actually in A League of Their Own Tom Hanks says, "baseball," and not, "football," but hopefully you get the meaning. Right?
FOOTBALL FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!
LOVE IT!
Sorry, I know I'm a complete female freak of nature because I actually more than like the game of football. Actually both games of football - Futbol and Futbol Americano!
Before kids, it was only football and very obsessive - Friday night high school games, Saturday College ball all day, Sunday NFL fever, and Monday nights I'd set the VCR to record Monday Night Football so I could watch it all week long. Kids kinda put a damper on that so I had to limit myself.
Then when our youngest son wanted to play soccer like all his big sibs and didn't have a coach, my sweet hubby refused to coach two teams. He forced me to become more than just a soccer mom! Having never really played soccer or even understood the game, at all, I became a licensed soccer coach to a bunch of 3 & 4 year olds. I can't ever do anything halfway, so I researched and learned all I could about soccer coaching. WHOOPS! It is a game played with a ball and feet!?! LOVE IT TOO!!! (Please note I was in CHINA for the last game of the World Cup! True sacrifice!)
Welcome to the view from my favorite seat on Friday nights for home football games…
…really close to the 50 yard line…not quite high enough in the stands for the best view, but we have an aisle seat! Uhm…yeah…we have chosen to pay the extra money for the special season tickets for the numbered assigned seats with backs, so I sit here every home game. Judge my wasteful spending splurge later, please. Not only do these seats afford me a back on my lovely blue chair, but more importantly I have a guaranteed seat for each game without arriving when the gates open, hours before the game starts. These seats allow our family to watch the game and the band with minimal meltdowns from my daughter who struggles with a few little issues. Just trust me! These seats not only save my sanity, they are saving the planet!
So I get to enjoy sitting next to my Princesses with their pom poms, negotiate every week that we just ate dinner and there will be no snacks from the concession stand until after the band performs at half time, supply all blankets and rain gear necessary to supplement spirit wear, while doing deep tissue massage as needed or discovering an educational way to circumvent a building monumental fit by guiding my Sweetheart to watch the game so that she can report the jersey number of the player who has the football…hmmm….that might even be future career skill training as a play-by-play, action, color commentator!
AND…
...this year we have another wonderful family sitting in front of us. Judging from items I've seen them carrying or wearing, I think they must have a daughter who is a cheerleader or a dance team member in addition to their son who sits with them. Their son has Down's Syndrome.
Now do you understand the title?
Each week I sit with my princesses and this family and all I can think about are all "my kids" still in China.
Especially…THE MAYOR!
I haven't written about The Mayor yet…some of my kids are harder to write about…okay…lots of my kids are just gut wrenchingly hard to write about and so these blog posts will boarder on book length and not just a brief blurb. So hold on…
The Mayor was given his title by the very first team to visit this orphanage. Within the first few minutes they were at the orphanage, he rounded them all up and organized a game of Chinese "Duck, Duck, Goose" without the help of a common language. He's such an amazing leader! So without knowing his real name, they called him "The Mayor."
Returning to the orphanage, I was asked to be on the lookout for him while we all prayed he would not be there. That during the year since the last team visited, he would have been adopted and gone home to his forever family. I was so happy and sad when I saw him on the playground that first day. Happy to see his smiling face and warm welcome to our team, but oh so sad to know that he was still waiting.
Our team jumped right into playing with the kids and participating in the morning exercises led by the nannies. Marching first with our hula hoops and then lining up for aerobic exercising to music with hula hoops. I found myself somewhere on the second row having way too much fun making a complete fool out of myself because I have two left feet in Chinese just like I do in English.
Suddenly I was being led by the hand to the back row by his excellency The Mayor. He placed me next to another boy and stepped into the row in front of me. I was clueless as to why, but followed his lead with a smile.
Then…it started…The Mayor turned around laughing and pointing at me and laughing…LOTS OF LAUGHING! He puffed out his cheeks and held out his hands as he laughed and told me that I was "FAT!" Okay, I don't know that word in Chinese, but he was VERY clear. And he made it equally clear why I was stationed on the back row as he pointed to the boy next to me laughing and telling us both that we were fat.
Uhm…it's a good thing that I'm comfortable in my own skin…all of it. And that my self-esteem is securely intact.
Plus, I can dish it out as well as take it! Not wanting my teased partner to suffer without a defender, I motioned and gestured and let him know that my partner was muscular and strong. We argued and laughed in two languages and an endless game of charades.
As the children enjoyed free playtime, Mrs. G., one of the assistant directors, let me know that The Mayor, 12 years old, would "be a very good son." The staff longs to see him go home to a forever family before his 14th birthday traps him as an institutionalized orphan for life.
After we returned to the hotel for a short rest break after lunch, I told my team about The Mayor calling me fat. In shock, they all questioned if I understood him correctly. Surely he didn't really say that?
We returned to an afternoon performance by the children. Singing, dancing, martial arts displays, and The Mayor!
The kids were wonderful! And totally kids!
Now, I did have an advantage because I knew that this performance to entertain their guests had been part of each of the two previous team's visits. Miranda and I have lead Children's Worship time together for years! We made sure we had some songs on our phones that we could share with the kids and staff.
After chattering while their peers performed, the room was too quiet for our two songs followed by Miranda and Jason's karaoke "Love Is An Open Door" reprise from a previous van ride through Beijing. However, as we stepped down from the stage area, The Mayor was waiting for me laughing and pointing with bubble gesturing hands once again calling me, "FAT!" The team agreed with me. No doubts. Everyone knew exactly what he was saying though none of us really knew these Chinese words.
On Tuesday, the children were waiting on a bus to enjoy a field trip to a park with lunch at a restaurant. Off for the unexpected adventures to come!
As we unloaded from the bus in a mixture of my tiny team of four, nannies, our guide Della, Mrs. G. the assistant director, and all the children who came with us, the children began to sort themselves and gather together in the shade until ticket could be purchased for our entrance. The Mayor drew close to tease me once again with his declarations of my enormity and his selection of me as his touring buddy.
I only know a very few words and phrases in Chinese. Then I totally butcher the tones within the language that distinguish "Mǎ" from "Mā" which is not to be confused with "Ma" or "Má" and do NOT say "Mà". Understand? But one phrase I do know came in very handy…
"Wǒ de hǎo péngyǒu"
(My good friend)
These simple words transformed my relationship with The Mayor!
At first he didn't quite understand what this crazy FAT woman meant. So I pointed to him and added "Nǐ" (you) and then repeated "Wǒ de hǎo péngyǒu". Relational gold mine! Instantly his eyes brightened and his smile engulfed his face! Taking me by the hand, The Mayor drug me along beside himself to introduce me to every nanny and Mrs. G. and Della as his new BFF!
To help us all endure the heat and humidity, each child and adult was handed a water bottle for the day while we continued to wait. (I think they were trying to convince the park attendant that four Americans and a bunch of really special children would not disrupt the atmosphere and beauty of the botanical garden.) With my backpack on my shoulders, I released my hand from The Mayor's grip and slipped my own water bottle into one of the pouches.
New discovery!!!
His BFF had water bottle pouches on her backpack!
Like any other man or child I've ever traveled with, the lightbulb moment shone brightly as The Mayor decided that I would have the privilege of carrying HIS water bottle too! And once again, he gripped my hand to parade me around to each nanny. He'd spin me around so that everyone could see both my water bottle and HIS in my backpack pouches. Not only was I his BFF, but now I was his personal pack mule.
Once through the main gates, we did what any group traveling with children must do upon entry at any exciting location…potty break! Not for all, but we had to make a stop. The Mayor did not want to wait idly by. Despite my hesitations, I found my arm leading me behind His Excellency to a display of characters from the Monkey King stories. As we walked over, The Mayor began to sing to me a folk song about the Monkey King. Once he finished, he began my formal education on the proper pronunciation of the word "monkey" - "hóuzi"!
My new BFF and I trooped through the park to enjoy all the sights. Frequent stops and requests for me to retrieve The Mayor's water bottle for him always brought a grin to his face. After a while we all stopped to rest in the shade at some mahjong tables and benches underneath tall shade trees. One of the nannies began to spray some of the children near me with insect repellant against the numerous mosquitoes we battled constantly so I slipped my own handy dandy spray out of my backpack to reapply.
Lightbulb moment again!
The BFF also has bug spray!!!
Uhm…YES!…from now on I was commissioned to reapply bug spray whenever a mosquito dared to enter the domain of His Excellency!
And then I took out a tissue…YEP! Basically, I had been drafted to fully mother The Mayor! Everything I was doing for him was nothing that I don't regularly do for my own crew. Plan ahead, carry supplies, meet needs - mother.
Following all the fun at the park, we boarded the bus once again with the promise of a delicious lunch at a restaurant. The Children and the nannies loaded first, and then we hopped into the fold down jump seats in the middle of the aisle. Made a BIG mistake as we loaded! Gretchen went back to her seat toward the back, and I sat closer to the front.
BIG MISTAKE!!!
Gretchen was seated close to The Mayor - my park buddy and new BFF!
I was seated close to Gretchen's park buddy.
The Mayor was NOT happy! And he made sure Gretchen and everyone on the bus knew it, too! Standing up to point at me and declare his desire to be with his BFF! He did settle into his seat for the ride, but there was NO WAY he would buddy up to Gretchen.
As soon as we were off the bus, The Mayor was glued to my side. We entered the restaurant and were fist led to a small room with only two tables, but our group was too big for only two tables. After a little shuffling, three tables in a corner were located for our group. Miranda, Jason, and Della settled at the first table with several children and nannies. Gretchen and Mrs. G. moved over to the second table. Uhm…that left me…and The Mayor at the third table filled with nannies and children…and nobody who spoke any English.
Yep!
Non-stop adventures!
We sat down to wait for the meal to begin arriving. Have I ever mentioned what GREAT kids these are?!? No kiddie menus, no crayons, no sports bar TVs mounted on the walls, no personal gaming devices! And they just quietly sat waiting for the food to arrive. Even at the park, we sat to rest FORVER, right across from amusement park or carnival type rides that weren't open for riders, and they just waited until the group was ready to move on, conversing with us or acting silly for photos. I can't even imagine taking a group of American kids anywhere and having them behave as patiently and well mannered as the children who surrounded us for a week.
While we waited for our lunch, The Mayor began to sing for me again, but this was no spirited folk song. This time he sang me a beautiful love song. Well, I don't know what the words really meant, but he dramatically gestured while his voice followed the quiet calming flow of the melody. So the drama queen in me joined in…I swooned, and ooooo-ed and ahhhhed, fluttered my lashes…I poured it on and hammed it up right along side my BFF. The nannies were cracking up at the two of us!
Once the food arrived. The kids ATE! And ate, and ate, and ate! And in Chinese fashion to honor us as their guests, the food just kept coming! Here I will skip tales of my many mealtime mistakes that again had the nannies and children laughing.
As we all began to sit back with FULL tummies, The Mayor began to speak very quietly and intimately to me. The nannies were all occupied with the other children at our table, and even if they were listening in, none of them spoke enough English to help translate for me. The Mayor continued his long soliloquy. In the midst of his speech, he turned to the wall behind our seats to press an imaginary doorbell he sounded with, "Ding-dong! Ding-dong!" and continued. The only words I heard that I knew conveyed his message and plea loud and clear…
"Mama" & "Baba"
My heart shattered into a million pieces as I listened to this boy beg me for a mother and father, for a home and a family.
We spent three more days laughing and playing with The Mayor and his friends.
My BFF could be so fun-loving and silly, and then I'd see his leadership skills as he attempted to settle a squabble between two younger boys.
This rough and tumble boy sat with us in the 'Baby Room during one afternoon's feeding time and gently played with and encouraged a little one toddling around the room.
We painted artwork together.
We prepared wontons for delicious soup.
And then, we had to leave…
Our boys waited at the windows of their room for us to leave. Through the safety bars on the windows they waved and shouted their good-byes as the orphanages ambulance turned van drove us out through the gates and away.
The Mayor is 12 years old.
He has less than two years for his family to find him and bring him home. If not adopted by his 14th birthday, he will remain locked away in an institution for the rest of his life. His referral file is most likely buried within the Shared List of thousands of children waiting within orphanages in China to be found by their forever family.
If you are interested in bringing this wonderful boy into your family, America World Adoption Association partners with his orphanage in China (
www.awaa.org).
